As a divorce attorney and spiritual advocate I am asked often if I believe people should get married. I can write volumes on this topic, but the short answer is this:
Marriage is two different types of commitment. One, a sacred commitment with vows that are often disregarded and said ceremoniously. While it is said that vows should never be broken, the truth is we all evolve. While 50 percent of people remain in their marriage, there is no trophy for remaining in a marriage that is miserable. In this case, the vows become a prison and a sentence. Love is not meant to be a burden.
The second prong of marriage is the legal contract that you both sign. That contract comes with legal consequence. You no longer can just walk away after a breakup. A judge has to grant you permission for the divorce and the division of accumulated assets and liabilities. While legal marriage offers certain legal protections and tax benefits, individuals often fail to consider the totality of the legal meaning of marriage.
If two people wholly consider both prongs of marriage – the sacred union and the legal consequences – and go into this union with eyes wide open, I say yes, I believe in the idea of marriage for them. In that case it could be beautiful.
Yet a legal union is not required for a sacred union. There are ways you can legally protect yourself without a legal marriage such as cohabitation agreements, civil contracts, and estate planning documents. There are legal realities of a country and state whether we like it or not.
Love is very beautiful and very sacred to the couple. It is not meant to be lost in formality and malfunction. Marriage can be an institution. The wedding day can be very beautiful, but to create a lifetime union that thrives, the two will have to have a deep understanding of what sacred is for them. When they do, their love often inspires the world for others to try.
If this topic interests you, email me to pre-register for my online course “Should I get married...” coming soon.
Note: This is not intended to serve as legal advice. If you require the assistance of an attorney please contact one.